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As I said in previous posts, having twins is the most wonderful thing that happened to me in my whole life.  But,  what would have I said if I was writing this post in the last week of March or first week of April 2004 ?

At first you feel overwhelmed.  You are continuously doing things, feeding them, dressing, changing diapers, etc.  But the worst thing is that you know that it is something that does not finish.

There are other things in life that can make you tired, but you know you will be able to rest at night.  Well, this is not the case, you know that the same things you are doing during the day,  you will have to do at night.  This is psychologically terrible !

You think everything is a mess,  that seems not to finish never, but you start to get used to it, you start to create small routines, divide tasks with your wife,  accept help from the rest of the family and things start to work better. And you start to enjoy the good things and can write a blog post saying that having twins is the most wonderful experience you have ever had.

As a father of twins, we have to do a lot of tasks, and we make mistakes. I will share in this post the 5 things I’ve done that I regret.

1. Loose patience with them

I must admit it. I have no much patience with kids. Sometimes I realize I shout them, because I was expecting them to do something, when I should have thought about the reason they had for not doing what I expected. There are times where I think they are older, and become angry for things that are natural at their age. This is the thing I most regret.

2. Didn’t enjoy the first months

Besides the natural mess of the first months, I didn’t enjoy the first months for an additional reason. My wife and my family’s relation was not in the best moment, so we didn’t ask them all the help we were needing.  In the first months, help is needed and that situation complicated our lives.
I should have tried harder to improve that relationship before.  Now the relationship is excellent, but prevented me to enjoy the first months.

3. Not playing enough with them

This may happen to many parents, when you return home from work you are very tired and are not so motivated to play with them. In addition, as they are twins, they always have somebody to play with, so you tend to think they don’t need you.  But I’ve realized how much they need us to play with them as years passed, and for example, the boy is going to a psychologist, as he was behaving very bad and we had no clue of the reason. And it seems one of the problems is that he needs us to play more with him.

4. Not being strict with some limits

Limits are very important and I think we have been strict enough. However,  there have been some cases where we allowed to do some things that I regret.  For example, when they were 3 years old,  we allowed them some nights to come to our bed before going to sleep.  And that was terrible,  because they continued doing that for a long time, until we decided to be firm, and make them sleep in their rooms.
Of course, that caused crying and screaming the first days,  but I am glad we did that.

5. Give them too much presents

Of course you like to buy your twins lots of presents. I like too. But I feel we have given them too much presents, and that causes they don’t valorate the toys they have, always wanting more.

These are the five things I regret having done as a father of twins.

What do you think about these five points ?     What are the things you regret ?   Please leave a comment and share your opinions.

This is the best list of books for dad of twins I’ve found.

clipped from multiples.about.com

Top 10 Books for Dads of Twins/Multiples

By Pamela Prindle Fierro, About.com

Filed In:

1. Family Issues
2. > Dads of Multiples

Wade through the abundance of parenting books on the market, and you’ll find most are meant for mommies’ eyes. But dads can gain a lot from reading too! These book selections are top-rated for dads of twins, triplets or more, providing optimal information to help them strengthen their relationship with the family, while presenting the material in a manner that respects their role.

1. Raising Multiple Birth Children

Written by parents of triplets, this must-have survival guide is an excellent collection of true-to-life, practical advice on managing — and even enjoying — life with multiples. Many books about multiples focus on the mother’s perspective, but this is peppered with comments and suggestions from fathers as well.

Very funny post about a father missing diapers days ..

clipped from www.dad2twins.com

Can we go back to diapers?

By dad2twins on Jan 31, 2009 in All is not right with the world, Did I ask for your advice?, Farty Pants Twins, Featured, Huh? You must be kidding?, Random thoughts…, Warnings, What was I thinking? | 4 Comments

My girls are almost four years old. Well okay, in April, but that’s close right? I never thought I would say this, but I long for the days of diapers on the girls. Yes, you heard me right. Please bring back the diapers.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t miss the expense of buying truck-loads of Huggies from Costco for the farty pants twins. My wallet is still thanking me for the savings benefits of early potty training. So why am I complaining? My greatest wish? Let me lay it out for you.

Please, please, please allow me the ability to drive more than 1 hour before having to rush to find a bathroom. Seriously.

The girls come by their need to find a bathroom “NOW” from their mom. I’m told she was exactly this way when she was a little girl.

You are overwhelmed and very tired.  Your wife the same or more.  But you are a couple.  You need some time to be alone.  However, there are two new kids living at home.   It is very important for the couple to spend some time together so it is very common to ask the grandparents to stay 4 or 5 hours taking care of  the babies.

It seems something simple, but we tend to complicate everything.  We become so nervous that we tell the grandparents 3 or 4 times all the tasks they have to do, forgetting a very important detail:  they were in the same situation 20 or 30 years ago.  They know what to do,  they know how to take care of babies.

However ,  we leave our home feeling guilty for leaving our kids.  And we call home one or two times in the night to see if everything is ok.

Despite all your fears,  spending some time together alone is something you should do, in order to mantain a healthy couple, to continue the wonderful journey of growing up twins.